Sit down, pour a cup of tea, let's have a chat.
I'm a writer, how about you? Yes, it's a lonely life, but not with you here. You want to look around? Please, feel free, I have nothing to hide. Except in my medicine cabinet, don't you dare look there. What's on the end table? A collection of brass candlesticks, of course. Don't you remember the game CLUE? By the way, don't look too closely in the bell jars, you might see something that disturbs you. I suggest glancing out of the corner of your eye.
My first book? So happy you asked! It's called ONCE BITTEN, published by Kensington Books. I must have a picture of it around here somewhere. Oh, there it is, on my bookshelf. Thank you, yes, I think she's beautiful also, but I'm afraid I had nothing to do with it. She must take after her father. What's inside her, though, that's all my doing.
It's been lovely, our visit, but I simply must get back to work. I have another book coming later this year, also about those pesky vampires who seem to be all over my beloved city these days. I also have a novella in an anthology called NOCTURNAL, coming in September 2010. You can take a look at that on my bookshelf as well.
Of course, stay as long as you like, go wherever you want. I tidied up just for you. If you have any questions, just quietly slide a piece of paper under my door, and try not to make a commotion.